Supervisors are never your friends

A fellow guard friend just called, really pleased with himself.


It seems a guard had left his post early by 35 minutes and as a result my friend was forced to cover the dangerous post alone.

The presumptuousness of this really angered my friend!

So he called his supervisor!
His supervisor got really angry too and immediately called the other guard to berate him for leaving his post. The supervisor of course told this guard that my friend had just called him and tattled on him.


The supervisor gave No thought to the fact that my friend is now on the other guard's enemy list and that guard WILL get revenge.

The guard then called my friend and asked why he ratted him out. My friend denies every doing so. [Like that will work.] This guard then calls my friend a "punk ass bitch, who will get what he deserves."

This again angers my friend, who then immediately calls the supervisor again to complain!

The supervisor tells my friend to "write it up" and put it in his open in-box in the guards' common break room and he would pick it up tomorrow. [No concern that the other guards will then read it and believe my friend is the supervisor's "bitch". That they will then ostracize and  work hard to get my friend fired.]

[This has happened to my friend this same way at 5 companies! He is going to run out of companies to work for in this area!]

Now my friend is feeling pleased that he was able to get this guard in trouble with the supervisor.
(Mommy, Billy looked mean at me!?)

He then tells me he thinks that it might not work well because the other guard is 1 )a personal friend of the company owner and 2) of his supervisor's supervisor and 3) that the supervisor he called is a new employee!  
[Gee, You think??]

Pick your battles! 35 minutes and being called a name by a fellow guard is not worth the repercussions!
Game it out before you open your mouth!

• The supervisors will not back you up. 
• If they appear to be backing you up, see above.
• They will throw you under the bus without thought or hesitation.
• They have their own plans that do not include any good for you. (See film Paths of Glory with Kirk Douglas: highly recommended)
• They will soon see you as trouble, not to be trusted and too thin skinned. You then again lose your job and complain about how unfair it is...Dude, LIFE IS NOT FAIR and NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU.
• Supervisors want NO problems.

My friend is one of the best guards around, you couldn't ask for a better patrol partner, alert, tactically competent and reliable, cares about innocents, is not afraid of any one but flies off the handle when he encounters 'regular guards' and their apathy and incompetence....and is naive about management....and can't STFU.

Please just count to 100, slowly. (Counting to 10 won't do it.) Stay frosty, chill out, be cool man.

He probably won't read this either. He knows he is a great guard but hasn't yet come to truly understand the appalling pettiness of most people in the rent-a-guard industry.

Your boss can not be trusted, is not a tool for vengeance and will throw you to the wolves to lighten his load even slightly. We are nothing to them.

Being superbly competent is NOT enough!

In this industry you can be righteously angry OR be employed! Please chill, my friend!

Lobby Thoughts #26

 Robert L. Oatman: 'The longer I work in Security, the less ego I have.'  [IIRC, Quote from an outstanding seminar I attended.]



There is an Versateller-ATM in the lobby. I sometimes stand within 10 feet of it, in full uniform. About 10% of the patrons using the machine take great pains to ensure I do not see them enter their PIN number and are very leary of me as they pocket their cash. Use some discretion folks. The lobby guard could take the money from the guards who fill the Versateller with cash and get a whole lot more. ..including 10 years in jail. It's your son, daughter husband or wife who will take your money, not me.

I have come to believe the most physically dangerous part of my job is parking lot patrol.
Please do not run over the guard. Thank you.
Nice try though!

After I locked the lobby the other night a man showed up 5 minutes too late. [We open and close based upon cell phone network time, otherwise the complaints are a major pain.] As I have no discretion in the matter, I could not let him in. To indicate this I smiled, shrugged, pointed at my watch and at the door "Hours of Operation" sign. He thrust up his gold Rolex at me through the door and emphatically tapped his watch. Yes, Nice watch; but you set the time wrong dude. Sorry. Bye bye.

I'm with Yeats, there is one Grand Intelligence that is the universe. Call it what you will.
However, you Ma'am are not the source of that Intelligence.

The #1 Thing (to avoid being fired as a guard)

The #1 thing to avoid being fired is to MAKE NO PROBLEMS for your bosses or clients!

What constitutes a "problem" will vary by boss, client and environment.

Usually they simply do not want to hear from you at all;  unless it is SERIOUS: like a big fire, dead body, shots fired (unless normal for your environment), shots you fire, rapes, or other serious felonies or you won't be in to work.

Don't forget we are playing pieces; square pegs for hopefully square holes. We are just bodies they can make a profit on...and not much of a profit at that.

They are busy with chronically late, loser and criminal guards, no calls-no shows, psycho clients or their own personal home or work problems.

Trying to intentionally impress them with your Dedication, attention to detail, superior skills, winning personality, superior security knowledge, etc. is a Problem!

"The nail that stands highest is the first to get hammered."

Even winning 'Officer of The Month' is a Problem; they must generate paperwork and may have to give you a small raise and are worried you will get a big head and be an ongoing problem for them.

Just do a good job. Be reliable.

STFU, blend-in, stealth life, GTM.

[Shut the F@#K Up, Get the Money.]

Lobby Thoughts #25

I do not believe in coincidence, but I do believe in Synchronicity.

On occasion I will be speaking with a client or visitor outside the lobby. We may be discussing the state of the nation, humanity or the weather. At least once a month some busybody will stop about 5-10 steps away, stare at us for 10 seconds and call out: "Why are you talking to that man! Leave him alone! You have no right to harass citizens! He didn't do anything!"
We slowly turn to stare. WTF?, Please take your meds.

Once I  was interviewing a suspicious man, seen carefully looking into parked cars. I surmised he was not trying to decide upon a new interior for his car.
While speaking with him, a citizen walked between us to say archly: "Why did you stop this man." I whispered "I thought he was the psychotic murderer the police were looking for." Funny thing, they left immediately. I wonder why.

Yes, all security guards must be watched carefully or we would be soon swinging our batons at random passersby.

I mentioned to one 'street corner talking' conversational partner the Einstein quote, IIRC-AIPD (If I Recall Correctly-And I Probably Don't), about the reporter who asked him how he could possibly talk to "regular people". Upon looking at the reporter for a second he is alleged to have said something like: 'I speak to the most intelligent about relativity and quantum mechanics, to the average person about education and government and to the slowest, about sports." The reporter silently nods knowingly, Einstein then says to the reporter: "How about them Mets?"
Now my supervisor drives up 1 minute later, says to me" Hello, how's it going?" I say; "Fine" and then he asks me "How about them Raiders?" He didn't understand why we appeared to be stifling laughter!


Some people look like they're about to have a heart attack when I walk up to them in uniform. Such folks, being fearful of Security Guards, sometimes it is necessary to start a conversation with "Hi, there is no problem and you are not in any trouble. I just wanted to mention...."

H.A.L.T.: I was speaking to someone today who told me about one way Narcotics Anonymous taught ex-druggies to deal with stress in life. To first self-check to see if they were feeling Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. Triggers for recurrence of drug abuse. Helpful in not getting fired too, if we can see these things and keep from letting them help us say or do something we will regret.

Similarly there is a very powerful Thereavadin Buddhist meditation technique called Satipatthana or Mindfulness. This practice can lead to a thoughtful pause before one shoots oneself in the foot with bosses, fellow guards and clients.They say it can also lead to madness and paralysis!

Lobby Thoughts #24

Job Retention: Avoid getting replaced by the boss' unemployable alcoholic son-in-law by carefully providing added value beyond just standing there or walking around... 'cause that's all the boss thinks you do. At least be real nice and have the customers/employees tell the boss what a great guy/gal you are. This blog hopes to help you do so.

Control Your Facial Expressions! Sure you are appalled and disgusted, but never let them see it...even for a second. It will undo all your previous work. STFU alone is necessary but not sufficient.

Senior Bosses: Remember that some Senior Bosses have never been poor in their life. [They may tell you about the time they were poor and hungry---when their check from the trust fund was lost in the mail and they had to eat pizza on credit for a week in college. The Horror stays with them!]
Sometimes I'm reminded  of a New Yorker cartoon, IIRC, it shows a distinguished business man in a Bowler and Burberry, who says to a panhandler; "Inherit your own money!"
Note: Of course, I'm broke, so I think there may be some jealousy here.  Dude, You think??

Executives sometimes can not understand why or how you can do this job, so think you must be defective in some manner. [Well, I am, but that is a different story!]
This leads to their talking slowly and condescendingly, in words of few syllables and justifies, in their minds, embracing Theory X Management. (They however may be better at using commas than I. :)
If you speak to them in an erudite manner, it often scares them. Their whole world view is in danger of crumbling...therefore you are seen at best as an anomaly and quickly forgotten or worse a vague threat (perhaps a spy!) and must be dealt with...like fired or moved to the plant in Outer Mongolia, on graveyard shift, perimeter patrol, in the winter. (Only in the movies does your erudition and penetrating clarity of thought get you promoted to Division President.) Never make your boss feel dumb! (Granted, that may be difficult.)

I had a boss once who said in passing. "You are the only person whose reports make me use a dictionary."  Ooops, I quickly started using simpler words. [You wonder why I am still a guard? Ha!]

At the beginning of my career, another boss said "Wow, that's the only corporate report I have ever gotten with footnotes." Ooops! Never happened again.
Years later I learned to remember "No one wants to read your crap, make it shorter!" Now, you may wish I applied this principle to this blog!

Your frustration and impatience will do you in. Chill Out!

Is it rude to tell someone, politely, that they are being rude?

Boss, these Kids! Can I use duct tape?, they are trying to kill each other and I don't want to write the report if they succeed.

Parents: Do you dress your little tykes in camouflage clothing in the hopes they will run off, disappear and never be found?
[I mean, if they were valuable to you, wouldn't you dress them in neon colors, so you could find them if they ran off? But please no shoes that sing tunes from The Lion King at each step. such shoes exist and are evil!]

Sir, regarding that chip on your shoulder: Please learn enough English to tell the difference between an enquiry as to 'how can we help you today' versus us making death threats against you and your family. (If I could speak your language, I would...but I barely speak English myself!)

Medical Emergencies

Medical emergencies are the majority of guard dispatches in many public and private environments. As the population ages these calls will increase.

Guards at a minimum should have CPR and first aid training. These are certifications available from the American Red Cross.

Beyond this EMT training is very valuable and potentially  life saving. It has helped me save 5 lives.The confidence and patient interaction has helped calm panic situations.

I have used the EMT/Paramedic mnemonics many times to guide me through initial patient assessment in the first -golden- 60 seconds.
This has allowed me among other things, to ensure the right kind of ambulance was dispatched to the scene: BLS vs. ALS ambulances.

Some places will give you slightly more money in your hourly guard wage with an EMT certification, others don't care...you are just a pawn to them after all and EMT training might mean more potential liability to your guard and client firms.

My California EMT training was 5 months of about 12-15 hours a week plus ambulance ride-alongs and hospital ER experience, IIRC. I preferred being a guard however. YMMV.

You may decide you prefer being an EMT to being a Guard. You also generally work with smarter partners! but just as cynical and perhaps as psycho. (See alternate mnemonics) 
However, understand it is an equally thankless job and management is no better; it does garner more respect from the public and a few dollars more per hour, OTOH, there are alot fewer EMT jobs than guard jobs.

Saving lives is what we are about and medical emergencies gives us a chance to do it right and visibly.

Interviewing Victims and Witnesses

Random thoughts on Interviews and Witnesses, does the smiling Guard have any other way to write???  :)

Eyewitnesses suck.

I have interviewed many people in many years and finally learned that I had to carefully pull the incident from them. Left to their own I'd hear a chronology of their feelings, opinions, wishes, hopes, suppositions, guesses, motivations, psychological problems and fears! Little useful was gained by leaving them to tell it in their own words...except to get a very general idea of the nature of the problem, as they saw it; if they saw it, until I asked the right questions.


I am reminded of the scene from the comedy film Airplane II, The Sequel.

 "Jacobs, I want to know absolutely everything that's happened up 'till now.

Jacobs: Well, let's see: First the earth cooled. And, then the dinosaurs came, but they got too big and fat, so they all died, and they turned into oil. And, then the Arabs came and they bought Mercedes Benzes..."

At a condo association I once worked, a woman breathlessly told me she had been kidnapped.
It seems her husband took her car keys!
Kidnapped, Ma'am.? "Yes, he prevented me from going shopping and I wanted to go! I'm being held here against my will!"  Ma'am, can I call you a taxi? ....... You're a taxi! (sorry dear sole reader)

Another person told me that their life had been threatened by another employee. What was the nature of the threat? He said if I didn't stop calling him a stupid idiot in front of everybody, he would get me fired!
Ahhhhhh, Ma'am that is not a threat to life. Your job is not your life. "Mine is!" she says.
'Ma'am, we have an EAP here and an HR department that might be able to help you. No crime was committed here, sorry.' HR later calls me and says that this employee's life has been threatened and why wasn't I doing anything about it!
I love HR folks, so thorough. BTW, the HR candy striper had immediately called the local police. What fun! shotguns, flashing lights, oh, my. Never mind, Officers.


Careful questioning requires open ended questions. Do not put your ideas in their head, they will gladly tell you what they think you want to hear; to keep you happy or to try to quickly get you to leave them alone!


The interviews needed to determine criminal or accidental events requires some knowledge of psychology, perception and communications. It requires the interviewer to: Question. Listen. Think. Question. Listen. Think. Question. Listen. Think....

Eye witness testimony is notoriously inaccurate. But unless you have the incident on video, it is all you  have to work with.

Most cases are made on circumstantial evidence. There are some folks who will NEVER think someone is a criminal unless it is on video! "I mean how can I be sure?" See duck test. [But things are not always the way they appear either.]

There are a few excellent training programs and techniques available. One idea I got from a seminar with the California State Police was simply having the witness/victim tell the story: Beginning to end, then end to beginning, then from the middle forward and then middle backward. Amazingly effective. It also identifies lies fairly well too.

The Narrowing Interview has proven invaluable in the preliminary stages of an investigation to reduce the pool of suspects. (I get no money, from these or any other sources, except from my job as a smiling guard...and not much money for that!)

All the books about the Detection of Deception are great reads...but don't use these techniques on your loved ones, you'll be sorry!

The Reid Technique and many equally valid others are available in the form of classes, books, tapes and videos. Learn as much as you can from varied sources. Not all are equally useful.

Media (news reporters) training covers interviewing fairly well.

Descriptions:
People rarely really closely look at others. Getting the perpetrators height, weight, hair color and style, clothing and distinguishing characteristics is not easy. Use comparisons: Was he taller or shorter than me, than you, than Joe over here. etc. Was his hair as long as mine? [Did he have an eye patch and a parrot on his shoulder?, Which eye?, which shoulder?] etc.

I have had this happen a few times in my career.
What race was the criminal?" silence. repeat question. uncomfortable silence. I asked, "Is there a problem with my question? "Well, yeah, I don't want to appear to be a racist." "Okayyyyy, where they white? No, Asian? No, .....

In one case I asked for a description of a man seen rifling purses in the legal department. I got. "It was a guy in a coat". [Great, we'll get right on that, should have him located in no time]You have to pull descriptions from folks...while the criminal is escaping.

Car descriptions must include the licence plate number, as well as make/model/year and distinguishing features (such as bumper sticker, body damage, decals, etc.)

Walk them through it, be patient! Despite their having watched 739 episodes of Law and Order, CSI, etc. they didn't learn anything.

Timing: folks will often say "It happened 5 minutes ago." In fact they first called their friend and discussed it, lots of emoting, then they talked to their office mates. someone suggested they call security. so they find a phone and do so. Actual elapsed time...15 minutes! [I have seen this confirmed when we checked the video tapes.] The criminal in the meantime is half way to the local bar/club/dealer.

TAKE NOTES! Include name, date, time, location, their contact information. Remember your notebook can be subpoenaed, so keep it professional! Keep your old notebooks for 7 years, then shred them.

Witnesses seem to speak English but their definitions are theirs, they may not be yours. "I was robbed" is common. Most do not know the difference between robbed (theft through force or fear) vs. burglary (entering a property for the purpose of committing any felony) vs. theft (unlawful taking) vs. conversion (preventing lawful use), do not assume you are speaking the same language. [Just look at Black's Law Dictionary sometime!]

Remember that detecting lies etc. is more complex than noticing they looked down and left...meaning they were making something up. It's not that easy!

Learning how to do professional investigative interviews and getting accurate detailed descriptions is crucial in doing a thorough job. Don't jump to conclusions. Be patient.
Interviews
Investigative Journalism
Cognitive Interview

CYA: Get Your Story Out There First

In the continuing desire to help you not get fired for your innocent actions...

Cover your butt!

In the course of our work, we sometimes find ourselves in ambiguous positions regarding the perception of a client or customer and what we actually did or intended to do.

On patrol, I saw a wierd driving incident. I called the dispatch center to report a suspicious vehicle and gave the plate number and make/model of the car.
10 minutes later I was called into the VPs office to explain why I was seen "waving my gun around" while sitting in my patrol car. I was mystified by the charge. I never touched my gun while on duty unless it was incidental to a serious arrest. It is technically a violation of 417 of the California Criminal Law: Brandishing a Firearm. This would get me fired then and there.

So I thought back in detail as to what might have led this to this report to my bosses. I remembered while parked in the patrol car, surveying the perimeter,that suspicious vehicle; a woman drove by slowly, almost stopped and then sped off while I was on my portable radio with the dispatch center. It dawned on me that she must have thought the radio was a gun! [Portable radios at this time were the size of a brick with a thin 9" antenna.]
I mention this to the VP who, as is usual with security guards, didn't believe me. I asked him to hold the radio up as the woman came into his office. He did so, reluctantly, and when she entered she freaked out, saying "that's' the gun!." When pointed out it was a radio, she said, "Well, I can't be expected to know what a real gun looks like." My boss had mentioned that I was on the radio at the time, as also documented in the Communications Log. All OK; close call.


Another time I was following a 5150 (mentally ill) woman who had vandalized a parked car. She ran into the library building. I found her by following the turned heads of library patrons. Knowing this was an X-call, I knew I had better be VERY careful. I radioed I was chasing a vandal-X. I interviewed her and determined that it was her own car(!) (vandalizing your own car is not a crime, BTW.)

After I left, I immediately went to see my boss. I explained all that occurred because I knew a complaint was imminent. Sure enough, she and 2 other woman who were not present called to complain that I was harassing this poor innocent woman! My boss determined their side of the story was at best incomplete or a lie, I had 10 people in sight when I interviewed the woman. I later showed my boss the damage to her car. This complaint was dismissed out of hand and I continued on patrol.

Another situation involved the same library. I was closing the building and a woman tried to enter to get a book she needed. I told her "No, sorry, we are closed." she became irate, a paper was due and she needed that book!. I called into dispatch on this as a disgruntled patron and that she was very angry.
Yes, she called 15 minutes later to say that I was very rude and had closed the library early! My call to dispatch at the time saved me...as it was logged as being 4 minutes after closing time and I was known for being quite exact when I closed any of the campus buildings. Saved again.

Crazy people will make complaints too, frequently!. One woman accused me of being abusive. I had called her friend Sir, (as in "Good Morning, Sir") which she said was a derogatory term!

My point is that in any ambiguous situation you must immediately contact your boss and supervisors as to the incident...before the complainer decides to make an official complaint. Even if they are nuts. You must understand they will not be objective, will spin it to their advantage and you will not be believed, if it is your word against theirs; unless you reported it first AND have a reputation for accurate reporting. You must report it accurately and honestly in a matter of fact way. Be very careful; what can go wrong will go wrong.

Executives are People Too

4 reasons why executives are the easiest social engineering targets: by Joan Goodchild

High rank and position makes folks think they are above the petty concerns or the rules of regular folks. This will get them in trouble,  regularly 

Ms. Goodchild's articles are great reading for Smiling Guards.

The Most Basic Rules

Do unto others only what you would have done to you.
 
from Ann Landers:

1. If you open it, close it. 
2. If you turn it on, turn it off. 
3. If you unlock it, lock it up. 
4. If you break it, admit it. 
5. If you can’t fix it, call someone who can. 
6. If you borrow it, return it. 
7. If you value it, take care of it. 
8. If you make a mess, clean it up. 
9. If you move it, put it back.
10. If it belongs to someone else, get permission to use it. 
11. If you don’t know how to operate it, leave it alone. 
12. If it’s none of your business, don’t ask questions. 

Because someone does something wrong, is no excuse for you to do the same. 

Be your best, even if no one else is.

Try to live your life, so that when you get old you do not regret your past actions.

Lobby Thoughts #23

Security is not important...until it is.

We don't mind when you ignore us, we know you have your own problems.

A guard I worked with used to ask ONLY one person for ID when entering the building. It was the CEO. His reasoning was that the CEO would then know we check IDs. Idiot, he saw you had singled him out.

Very bad people do exist. Sadistic and psychopathic. Not just in fiction. We work to stop these folks from hurting you...unless you eagerly volunteer for it! [If you do meth, you will eventually met these creatures and it will be painful or fatal.]

Emotional Intelligence and Emotional Thinking are subjects worthy of study.

We have a bank of computers for use by the public. They are for online purchasing of in-house vendors' products. If I stand in front of computer station 6 for example, inevitably some one will need to use just that terminal, rather than the empty terminals 1-5 or 7-10. This is the pathetic need of some people to make an impact in their life by "bearding the tiger in its den" and showing that they can get the "scary guard" to do their bidding. Sad creatures. In real conflicts they are mushrooms.
Posturing does not mean you have skills and  only works against  people who let their fears rule them.


Some few of us are not ruled by fear of others. We are instead looking at suki (隙 ), as we smile.

You can be right, or you can be employed. Rarely both.

When a guard speaks people do not really listen. They have dismissed what ever you may say before they turn on their brain...they expect stupidity. However most folks never turn on their brain, so don't take it personally.

I have stood near senior executives who, knowing the guard is within hearing, will still share confidential information with their assistant. To prevent the guard from understanding, they will use their sophisticated English vocabulary and then look hard at the guard to see if they understood. Nekulturny. 
Some of us can control our facial expressions or simply don't care about your games; therefore no tells.

 We are happy to avoid your petty Machiavellian corporate games. Sometimes being beneath your notice is just what we want. We are the invisible men. Some of us are bored by your machinations. Your will-to-power is just mental illness, similar to S&M games. I have lost jobs because I did not allow an exec to use me to further their petty plans...there are plenty of malleable folks out there for you to use. Leave me alone to do my job.


Rudeness is not a skill. It is an absence of skill...a public display of social incompetence and mental weakness, not toughness or being "above" others.

Hobbesian Security

'Life is nasty, brutish and short' in some urban environments. Some sites are war zones.

Guard forces often are the de facto enforcers of a 'separate peace' in urban housing complexes. This is not the environment for The Smiling Guard style of security services. Instead an Enforcer style of peacekeeper operation is required for the safety of the innocent residents and the security staff.

Smiles there are reserved for the very young and the very old.

In a world of gangs, drug dealers, thieves and innocents, the provision of security guard services requires a wary blend of respect for rights, enforcement of the housing association rules (and the law), precognitive politically correct 20/20 foresight and officer safety.

Many residents are much better armed than you.  AK47 vs. your Smith and Wesson M&P 40. AK47s penetrate your vest very effectively. The criminals sometimes wear bullet proof vests too.

The guard's primary goal is to go home safe at shifts' end.


Tactics require showing very little "niceness" in this environment; as niceness = weakness = victimization.

If someone is being nice to you, it is to gain an advantage, distract, mislead you or set you up for misuse or attack. Otherwise you are seen at best as an irrelevancy or worse as an enemy-an occupying army.

You can be used for protection of an ongoing criminal enterprise, to arrest/harass rivals and enemies, to use as a bludgeon. You do not have friends there. You can however use residents for tactical intelligence. You may be warned if someone is making plans or taking action to attack you; either via getting you fired or a physical attack.

Every action and move you make is being watched for weakness or advantage.

I have seen nice, friendly, smiling guards, fired from these environments by criminals who started by being nice to the guard and eventually making the guard appear to be failing to enforce the rules even-handedly. The goal being to get a scared, stupid or criminally inclined guard to be the replacement. This unfortunately does work.

To be safe as a guard in these environments requires all the skills of a police survival instructor:
Head on a swivel,
check six,
"Give me 5 feet", combat distancing, Tueller rule,
know where you can retreat to with cover, at any location on the site,
bullet "proof" vest, clean gun(s) and extra ammo, Taser, baton, flashlight, etc.
development of human intelligence assets. (do not become their humint asset!)
a feel for the pulse of the site,
show no fear,
respect will get you further than meanness,
careful where you park your car,
never let anyone know where you live,
know when and when not to enforce rules,
do not be alone with any females or children,
not everything is as it first appears,
establish & maintain good relations with the local police,
cynicism and distrust, everyone is lying to you, [but don't be dismissive: listen and glean],
do not be mean,
ignore taunts otherwise be careful with the snappy come-backs,
try not to curse,
everyone is Ma'am or Sir,
never insult their mother,
watch their hands,
respect is life and death there,
never surrender, never give up,
ability to handle stress and
not let it be personal.

That nice little old lady might be an innocent or she might be dealing crack to supplement her social security check. That 10 year old kid might be carrying a Glock. That may or may not be any concern of yours...you are not the DEA or popo. Trying to be a junior tough cop will get you hurt. We are 4-0 not 5-0.


Protect all from violence, including yourself.

Be nice to the gangsters' Moms, it pays off if they say you are a good guy/gal. But it doesn't make you untouchable.
"Dude, I am here to try to protect your Mom, girlfriend or daughter when you are off the premises."

Do not be judge jury and executioner! You do not have the thin blue line to protect you.

Lobby Thoughts #22

Guards can see things routinely missed by most people. We have families of mice living in the bushes along the parking lot. We have crows feeding their young on the roof's edge. We have regal seagulls scavenging the remains of fast food wrappers. We have the migration of butterflies; what an amazing surprise! We see  mothers being kind...or evil... to their children. We hear screams, we hear the lone sweet songs of the birds. We see young love and old loyal partners. We see the clouds' artwork; the winds' designs, the rains' curtains, the ebb and flow of people. We see beauty and pain, brilliance and foolishness, hatred and love, stellar joy and profound sadness. We can see the world as it is...or though our preconceptions.

Huh? No Ma'am. I am no plaster saint nor fascist demon. I'm just a guard...a human, trying to see.

Being smart is of limited usefulness, perhaps a disadvantage, in many professions. This observation perhaps shows I am not that smart myself.

I sometimes find myself patrolling the parking lot, hoping to meet the dogs people brought in their car or being walked on the street. Yes, dogs build no civilizations but they are more real in their worldly interactions than most people. I build no civilizations either...except in my mind.

I applied for yet another security job last week. I didn't get it. Because I did not have my baccalaureate, I was deemed inadequately educated. I have found that there is little correlation between formal Degrees and one's education. But such requirements make the HR departments' jobs easier.
"Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school." A. Einstein

Lobby Thoughts #21

For many of our visitors, the only respect, smile and niceness they see all day is from the lobby guard. It can make their day much easier to endure....and it doesn't cost you anything.

Smiles beget smiles...makes people happy to return to your lobby....and its vendors.

Pick a plain girl or guy and give them a really nice friendly smile and look them in the eyes.
(Not that kind of smile, you perv.)

I say, Hello, how are you today? Customer says "You talking to me?, what do you know?, who's been talking about me? Why you talking to me?"
I say: "OK, well. bye-bye  now, have a nice day!" (Jeesh)

A company on the other side of the mall liked me and so when they needed guards for a product show, they retained my parent firm. Man, were they sorry; they got sullen and surly guards. Rent-A-Thugs instead of Rent-A-Diplomat.

The Forgotten Guard:
I have had 'stand-bys, in adjacent rooms, while a difficult termination occurs conducted by Human Resources (HR).  [They had a wireless panic alarm, if there was a problem, I would swoop in when my receiver beeped.]  After the termination,  the little HR 'experts' often forgot I was there. I would check and find they had left the adjoining room 30 minutes ago, leaving the "secret" panic alarm on the table....forgetting to tell me that all was well.

In emergencies, I was not told that the business was going to be closed that day and I was not needed...until after I commuted to the site and found it closed. Opps, not paid for that day, either. Oh, well.

"Hey Guard, we got sandwiches for the whole team, come by". I arrive. I'm told there is not enough for me, "Sorry, we forgot about you." "No problemo, my friends!, See you guys later."

Employees have a fax machine that occasionally prints out notices about security concerns in the mall. I found these were not shared with their guard. I asked why and was either told that they forgot or that the information was too sensitive (shoplifter gang, really?) or, my favorite: "We didn't want you stopping every person of that ethnic group because you thought they were a criminal." (WTF!)

If you are visibly armed you will be asked twice a day or more. "Hey, is that loaded?", What kind of gun is that?", What kind of ammo you carrying?", ".45 is better than 9mm", "Are you fast on the draw?", "I got that gun, it sucks" [or it rocks], "Can you shoot that thing?", "Can I see your gun", "What would I have to do to get shot by you?"(!?!)
Do not ever answer these questions! Just smile! Do not talk guns with citizens. Don't touch the gun unless its an appropriate emergency.

At one site I was standing near the district VP's car, just surveying the parking lot. The VP approached and ask if all was OK. I said with a big smile "Yes Sir, I think some of my security presence rubs off on your car."  [Ok, not the funniest statement, I told you I was a weird guard.] They started to walk around the car, concerned. "Where?" they asked. "Sorry, Sir, I didn't mean literally." They continued to check their car for security presence. Sigh.

Your First Day on the Job as a New Guard

First    Do what they tell you.

To keep your job, you must do what the client and your company says to do. You have little or no 'discretionary decision making' authority. Be cooperative and eager to learn.  Ask questions, if the training person will permit.

Do not share ideas or mention glaring vulnerabilities...Yet! Wait 2-4 weeks. Remember everybody is a security expert and your helpful comments will be taken as damning criticism!

STFU and  Look and Listen! Take it seriously. 

Be nice until you determine if nice with smiles or nice and serious is that locales preferred guard mode.

"OJT Site Training" could be anywhere between 5 minutes to 8 days of site specific training with a supervisor. In some locations it can be limited to "Guard stands here."

Ensure you are in the right uniform, hat to shoes, and equipment for that site. ie; that mandated by the company and client. Extra equipment is up to you; only after your first days there and if not prohibited.

Have your guard, firearms, baton, mace permits(as applicable) with you as required by law. You need not show them to anyone who asks...only your bosses and the police.

Is there a site map you can have and carry with you?

Learn your site's cardinal directions (N-E-S-W), building names, functions and street  addresses. (Google Maps the site(s) before you arrive.)

What is your area of responsibility? Were is the perimeter/property boundary located?

STFU and  Look and Listen!


Learn the Human and Vehicular Traffic Patterns: Where do employees exit the building to smoke cigarettes? Do most leave at lunch? What time do most arrive and depart? Who routinely comes in on weekends and after hours? What are the usual janitorial movements and techniques? Where are the local bus stops? Where are the mail boxes?

Find out what your reporting format and requirements are. Carefully ask to see examples of 'good' reports if possible. [Daily Guard Report- DGRs and SIRs-Site Incident Reports]

Find out how you log your time and attendance (T&A)...timesheet...you wanna get paid don't you? (Also log T&A in your notebook..records can get lost, corrupted or disputed.)

Find out what angers the client about the guard force, if anything, if they even pay attention. (Careful on this one! Asking questions may be what angers them!)
Assume those things that will get you fired at other sites will get you fired at this one.

Note how controlling they are. You may find they have scripted every minute of your day. (Embrace the suck)

Do you have Watchman clocks, card key, DETEX,  Powerchecks or other electronic guard patrol tour supervision devices you must hit on each patrol tour? Learn their locations.
Perhaps including calling into a central dispatch area as you reach certain locations? Learn their locations.

Learn where the restrooms and cafeterias are...the ones you can use.
Are you allowed to get coffee from the client's coffee rooms?

STFU and  Look and Listen!

Locate and look at the central dispatch, CCTV, alarm annunciation rooms. Emergency centers, guard locker room, etc. (If any)

Check location and condition of fire alarm rooms, fire extinguishers and first aid kits.

Who are you to call at your company if their is a serious incident? Who are you to call at the client's company?
Get all important phone numbers. Write them down in your notebook!

Find out about history of incidents, medicals, fires and police responses to your site.

How long does it take for the police/fire/ambulance to arrive?

What is the effectiveness, location and condition of the grounds? Lighting? Locks? Fences? Windows? Doors?

Where are any dangerous areas on your site located?

Are you issued a master key ring? How is that documented? [If you accidentally take it home...bring it back IMMEDIATELY, not the next day!]

Find out usual times guards for your shift arrive and depart. (Always be a little early to start. Perhaps your shift has shift briefings before you start? ...Never leave early! Everything hits the fan in the last 5 minutes of your shift, its Murphy's Law)

Are you permitted to leave the site for lunch or during lunch or breaks? If not where do you eat?

Find location of vending machines, refrigerators you are authorized to use.

STFU and  Look and Listen!

Identify areas you must never enter. Such as clean rooms , vaults and product storage areas. Just because you are The Guard does not mean you can go anywhere in the premises you please. (People dressed in white full body suits means you are in the wrong room!!!)

Do not join any conspiracies or theft rings! They are not common but do occasionally exist. Just express disinterest and that you just want to earn a living and take care of your sick Mom or dog, or something non-threatening! In such environments you may at first be suspected of being an undercover agent for management, careful! If apathy and disinterest doesn't work, get another guard job, ASAP. MYOB.


Careful, some of your fellow guards are quite insane or totally useless, MYOB!

If this is a new contract for your company, see if you can determine why the previous company was let go.

Evaluate your fellow guards and supervisors. Carefully! But make NO comments about them, the bosses, client or the client employees, especially to other guards! YOU will be subject of comments between people behind your back but are not allowed to make comments for 2-4 weeks...you are being Judged. Deal with it!

Who oversees your contract guard company's operations for the client. Usually a client employee in security, safety, facilities, legal, HR or janitorial.

Determine if the client's security management philosophy is reactive or proactive. (Psst; they all say they are proactive, few really are.)
Are there emergency plans for fire, Hazmat, earthquake, terrorism, site lock down? Are they tested or do they exist only in a binder?

READ YOUR POST ORDERS!

It will not be easy to both STFU and get all these answers. Look and Listen!

These things should keep you busy for your first day... or week.

It will make you one of the best guards that site has ever seen.
[Not that they will necessarily care much about that...just helps you keep your job! GTM--Get the Money!, Stay Employed!]

OH yeah, I almost forgot...STFU, MYOB, Look and Listen!  :)

Security Guards and Counter-Terrorism

Guards and citizens are told that they are on the front lines against terrorism.


Mandatory guard terrorism training and an exam is required by California law. The training includes noticing suspicious activity that does not reach the level of an actual crime.


This is rudimentary training, nothing like that seen in Israel for example. If you never heard about terrorism, this training will at least bring it to your attention and that it might happen at or near your site assignment and it may look like an innocent activity.


What could go wrong?


[Note, in the 1970s, counter terrorism taught then that terrorism was a means to cause the host (victim) country to crack down on its citizens' liberty. The theory was that the citizens would then rise up against the government and the terrorism sponsor would have a chance to seize power by the manipulation of the useful idiots. See the result for example in many South and Central  American countries.

Today's Islamic terrorism is "simple" hatred and insanity dressed in ideology, IMHO. Sharia Law anyone?]


Guards belief in terrorism in America mirrors that of our citizenry.

• Some admit it has happened but is so rare that any action to prevent it is a waste of time.
• Some take it seriously and have added this as a real possibility in their life, albeit they agree it is unlikely in their area.
• Some believe terrorism is the government's problem alone...or caused by the government...therefore not their concern at all. See my previous post on Panic.
• Some don't believe in it at all and ignore the possibility for whatever reason.
• Some believe it can happen in the next 30 minutes, at a location near them! (Stress?, anyone? Bueller?)

When each of these views come together in discussion we have conflict. Rarely coming to any agreement.

A good example is the "photography of public transit systems". An article with video and great comments clearly shows these positions and how guards may deal with them and their mandated duties.

[BTW, Discussing the constitutionality of a policy or statutory law is a waste of your and the guard's time! The guard cannot afford to lose their job over your interpretation of how things should be. You may be right and righteous...they will be unemployed.
Will you write odes to their honor and principles if they, then and there, say "Sir, you are correct, I will immediately resign in protest over this patently unconstitutional directive!"]

I feel sorry for these guards, they are in a no-win situation...we are forced sometimes to follow unthought out orders by bosses who are incapable of subtly, with their personal authority issues and further, we must deal with citizens who live in an idealized world of their ideas and intellect.
Neither position can we address while on duty. We are given very limited discretion.


Liberty is what America is all about. Quotes of the Founders as to 'liberty or death', 'exchanging safety for liberty', et. al. is our ideal.


However, if your video of the transit system is found in a terrorist safe house, after a gas or explosive attack on that transit system, with dozens killed and injured, can we jail or sue you?
No, of course not, you say. How can you be held responsible for others' actions with your highly principled photography?
Can the transit system be sued by the victim's families and survivors for failure to prevent your video being taken in the first place...of course they will!
What if your Mom, husband, wife, son or daughter is killed there?
Did they die for Liberté? or naiveté?


Should we become a fascist state, like the old CCCP, and curtail your actions at every turn? No, we will not! But let's at least try to see the situation from alternate viewpoints and live/act in the real world where actions have consequences. Liberty above all  is great in principle...until someone loses an eye. Balance is not easy. It will often be gotten wrong. The world is not black and white.

Guards and police are not constitutional scholars or lawyers. Your parsing of the situation will fail more often than not.


In the blog article referenced above; the police reaction shows they have run into academicians before and are unimpressed, annoyed and have better things to do. BS begets BS.


Discussions like these are critical to liberty.
Curtailing constitutional rights is wrong!
Unintentionally aiding and abetting terrorists is unconscionable!...regardless of your innocent intentions.
The fact terrorists can make clandestine videos is immaterial.

That is why we have Courts...as imperfect as those have repeatedly shown themselves to be.
 (You want perfection? You are on the wrong planet.)


Lastly:
Some special contract guards are all about counter-terrorism. It is rare you will see or meet these folks. They are well trained.   Some even work for Homeland Security... [Got MP5SD/SCAR?]   ;)

ROI---Return on Investment

Security is a 'cost center'. We produce no useable tangible products. We are a service industry. The client is not a security company. We are 'overhead.' We cost them! They are not in business to provide us a job, they are in business to make a profit...except the government of course.

Therefore we cannot really show an ROI. Sorry, that is just the facts, Ma'am...despite some folks attempt to sell ROI products to security departments.

Loss Prevention Departments of stores like Wal-Mart and Target can measure recoveries of property stolen, but that rarely comes close to the department's weekly budget.

However, this does not mean we have no value. How can one judge the value of prevention? What is the value of things that DO NOT HAPPEN? The building did not burn down--we can stay in business. The CEO was not shot in the parking lot and company trade secrets were not posted on the net...Wall Street doesn't freak and the company stock is not devalued to 1/2 of  yesterday's closing price. Employees are willing to come to work for this company because they do not feel they will be attacked in their office...because there are guards.

Our mere presence deters many crimes and losses.

We document what we do, so management can see we do act and if they are perceptive enough, might see the correlation between our actions and the fact that little or nothing has happened. Otherwise we are a tool in the Risk Management Department toolbox.

Our ROI is seen in the business staying open, viable and safe.

A dollar amount cannot be placed on security, IMNSHO.

Site Crime History

Anecdotes vs. Facts

Many police departments these days have maps of crimes in your area on the internet. Look into these for 1/4 to 3 miles around your site; depending on urban, suburban or "isolated" location(s). Get stories from other guard's Site Incident Reports. Some police departments have printouts of crimes issued each month. Some have "Police-Business Crime Prevention Coalition" meetings monthly or quarterly. Look into it!

At every site I've worked, while speaking to employees, some will say "This is a high crime area". When questioned further, they mention thefts, vandalism, trespassers and fires. It will sound like these happen every week!

People are people. They conflate and compress time based on "interesting" occurences. Therefore the "high crime" area, really has not had a trespasser in 6 months (and that was a homeless guy pushing a shopping cart at 1 MPH), a fire in 2 years, a theft in 3 months (her lunch was taken from company frig!) and that rape happened 6 years ago--3 blocks away. But they are wary if not actually scared!
Humans are very poor judges of risk. However do not minimize these concerns!

One must take these concerns seriously...thats why you are there after all! It is why you get paid! GTM!

With factual information  from the police and Site Incident Reports (and a formal security risk assessment including the full spectrum of threats and vulnerabilities) one can start to realistically judge risk and vulnerabilities and establish effective crime-threat prevention and response programs. (if you are permitted to do anything and can sell the ideas, TANSTAAFL-nothing is free),

From anecdotes one can see what the employees and site management fear and ensure addressing these fears become part of your daily visible 'delivery of services'. 
[Security Theater is part of our job....but it should not be the whole job.]

Learning: from News, TV, Films, Online and Books

The security guard industry does not spend much time training their people. The new guard is given 8 hours training in the basics of security concepts, mostly the limits of their power. "You are not a cop!" An additional 8-16 hours of training is included--eventually.



Still, even such rudimentary training is more than the average citizen knows about crime prevention, emergency response, crowd control, etc. But not by much., I'm afraid.

As with all training it may be 'pearls before swine' or a starting point for a professional career....it is all up to you the guard.

There is a large library available on all aspects of protective services. Butterworth-Heinemann publishers has numerous selections from basic to advanced. Elsevier Press has serious books on security management and forensics. The professional security organization for this career is ASIS (The American Society for Industrial Security). Police  procedure books are very valuable for security guards. Officer survival and safety is a subject often neglected in guard training. These are not in your local public library.

Professional and advanced training, over what your contract firm offers, is widely available. For Executive protection. For shooting, baton, pepper spray. For officer survival. etc, etc.

Classes in Criminal Law, Evidence and Evidentiary Procedure, CPTED, detection of deception, interviewing, investigations, HR law, trade secrets, basic psychology and sociology, history and logical fallacies are recommended.

There are numerous web resources.

Military fortifications: attack and defence; Hazmat, fire prevention, espionage tradecraft: dead drops to"sparrows and ravens"; scams/confidence games: email 419s to pigeon drops; locks, alarms, CCTV; lighting, barriers, etc.

On the other hand there are many 'fly-by-night' training 'schools' who offer rudimentary beginners' training and charge a premium...and rip off their students. "Get your guard card with us!".After taking one of these classes, you may be convinced to enter another profession...like at Burger King or Wendy's.  Buyer beware.

There are few good DVDs and videos available.

As a guard, the one subject you must study, if nothing else, is basic Police Patrol Procedures.


What one MUST develop is a security mindset. This makes all the difference in the world! It is where one can look at almost any situation and have one's knowledge of security cut through the BS of Security Theater,  identify and prioritize the possible solutions. "If I wanted to do _______ here, how would I go about it?" This is not about paranoia or training to be a criminal. It requires a detailed knowledge of criminal M.O.s, white collar crime, environmental crime, terrorism, critical infrastructure, building construction techniques and standards, etc., etc.


A trained security mindset allows one to enter a location and immediately notice many of the vulnerabilities and 'crime potentials' in that area as well as protective measures already in place. One's knowledge can then allow one to either acknowledge efficacy of existing equipment and staff, one can accept the risk/vulnerability seen, get insurance, establish a formal/comprehensive security program or ignore it.

[I had a "corporate art" picture of an abandoned warehouse, lattices of light and shadow, in my office. I used to ask new security employees to tell me about the "security implications" of what they see in that picture. Few went beyond recommending locking my office so the picture wasn't stolen. (Maybe they already knew the STFU mantra!?)]

A security mindset (and imagination) is relatively rare but extremely valuable for actual effectiveness...and the alleviation of boredom. :)

TV, novels and the movies love crime. We can use each one to learn something.

In each piece of entertainment, we simply notice what could have been done to prevent the crime, alternate means of investigation, better emergency response, etc. Drama is of little use, technique is valuable. When the guard gets shot or struck on the head and tied up...that could be you! How could or would you avoid it or prevent the penetration of your site?

In fiction the works of Doyle's Sherlock Holmes, W. Somerset Maugham, Lee Childs, Barry Eisler, Ian Fleming, etc, etc, etc are a good start, in your local library and fun.

SEE and Think about what you are seeing. Does it make logical sense? What if this happened at my site. Can a person really pick a lock so quickly and with one tool? Can a person actually fit through the HVAC ducts? As I walk around the premises, what would a B&E in progress look like? How does each thief in each movie enter the area and get the goods out of the building? How do I detect surveillance? Will/should someone spend $40,000.00 to protect (or steal)  $2,000.00 worth of materials? I have just touched the surface of the subject.



Think! Imagine! Have fun with it!


It never stops...there is always something to learn about security from news, movies, books, people and life. 

Thank You

Every once in a great while, someone will come up to us guards and say, in all seriousness "Thank you for being here and keeping us safe."

No, thank you! We often feel we are taken for granted and never appreciated. These instances make the job worthwhile.

We ARE here to try to protect you and it takes some dedication to ignore the frequent abuse and disrespect. But people like you, who do appreciate the service we perform, make it all worthwhile.

No, THANK YOU!

Guard Typology

Union Guard: "That's not in the contract." I'm on break." Complains often about "management". Purple t-shirt peaking from under uniform blouse.

Rambo Guard: 3 hidden knives, pepper spray and a stun gun, belt FULL of equipment pouches but without a gun. Dead serious expression, takes no guff. Sometimes seen as RoboGuard (see below). See also Tough Guards post.

Adlerian Guard  [not the Alder Guard (see Plant Guard below)  nor is it the Altair4 Guard ) This is the guard who is IN CHARGE and don't you forget it! "The sheriff has his problems too, he will surely take them out on you."-Warren Zevon

Plant Guard: Has the same presence and personality as that potted plant in the lobby. "What plant?" Exactly!

No Call/No Show Guard: The guard who was supposed to be on duty but didn't show up for work or call anyone that he wouldn't be in to work. Common to most sites. Also called the Unemployed Guard.

The Character Guard: Unique personality, uniform has various pins and do-dads and do-hickeys. May include a Hello Kitty pin. See also The Insane Guard.

Dealer Guard: Sells illegal drugs to your employees and other guards. Also called the Unemployed Guard.

Insane Guard: Employees go out of their way...literally...not to interact with this guard. They have been known to say memorable things. Often espouse interesting UFO, 9/11 and Illuminati stories.

Sleeping Guard: Self explanatory. Also called the Unemployed Guard.

RoboGuard: "What is your business", "You have to move that car", "I need to see some ID". "You think I'm kidding, Sir?"

Smart Guard: HaHa, just kidding, no such thing...right?

Pervert Guard: Gaze locked onto the ta tas and other bodily parts of the passing population. Seen leering openly. Sweaty palms. Mysteriously--Porn now on the local computers. Hitting on all living creatures and any shapely objects. Usual employee reaction? "ewwwwwww, gross".

Regular Guard: someone just serving time. Making the best of their situation. Just a regular guy/gal. Not adequately trained in Security but has opinions on Security things from movies they saw. Salt of the earth. Usually nice enough.

Creative Guard: This guard makes things happen. Increase in small fires, stolen property, etc. conducts interesting investigations where they solve the mystery. Different from Thief Guard below. Also call Munchausen Guard or "Soon to be Unemployed Guard".

Sports Freak Guard: self-explanatory. Runs the football pool. Knows the stats!

Non-Guarding Guard: Seen doing various duties around the site; except being a guard.

Thief Guard: Sudden increase in local stolen property within 1-2 weeks of his/her hiring. Amateur, easily set up by competent investigator or quickly confesses to interviewer (and no NOT the HR interview people.) Outsource this investigation folks.

Gold Digger Guard: Looking for a well paid husband or wife...at your site.

Over Qualified Guard. Lets you know this...daily. "I coulda been a contenda."

The Absent Guard: Adept at hiding, always "on break."  We have guards here?

Old or Fat Guard:  Are you worried he ain't goin' to be 'kung fu fightin'? Well, very few guards have ANY martial arts or fighting skills...they are supposed to use a phone, get a description and a license plate number for the cops; so old or young , fat or thin all they need is to be is paying attention. However these guards are not the best choice for intimidating kids or doing entrance ID checks at the strip club.( See Rambo and RoboGuards above for those jobs.)

The Smiling Guard: You hav' ta ask???  :)