Lobby Thoughts #19

I tried a little experiment at the lobby today. I asked a number of folks to tell me what they thought of the old Groucho Marx quip:

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it is too dark to read.

9 of the 10 didn't get it. (I asked only folks for whom english is their primary language.)

I got some great replies: 2 folks said" HaHa, the dog ate the book!
One stated that it showed that trying to figure out what a dog was thinking was a waste of time.
The rest but one looked at me quizzically and said they didn't get it...They asked me to repeat it slowly and they still didn't get it. I explained it and they said, OH, I get it now. 3 still didn't get the meaning.
One laughed and said it requires a knowledge of  nuance.

Did I mention how bored one can get standing in a lobby all day?

If you really can't determine if the customer is male or female, don't worry, a simple "Hello" is sufficient , as is "Have a good day" upon departure.

I keep special look out for serious threats; Al-Qaeda or the Regional VP coming for a site inspection.

Some guards are they way they are simply because they are exhausted and depressed. They get no appreciation or respect. The can't afford any amenities in their life, so feel like indentured servants.
If you can still smile at the customers and staff and be nice, you have something approaching character.

Never forget: The customers pay your salary!

Never ascribe to conspiracy what can be explained by careless or stupidity. For they rule the world!

Liability Avoidance 101:
If someone asks for an ambulance, just call one, Do IT Now, dial 911. The cost is on them not you nor usually on your firm.

Slip and Fall Hazards: if there is a spill (water or coffee usually), report it to your bosses IMMEDIATELY. let them figure how to clean it up...if there is a Wet Floor sign, place it on the spill so folks are warned.

If you see anything that might cause accidental injury, take action! We are supposed to be about safety too not just crime prevention and emergency response!

Useful Reporting: what is the difference between reporting "I found the door open" vs. "The door was propped open with a trash can", vs "the door was closed but unlocked", vs. "the door was closed but there was tape over the latch (or strike plate)", vs. "the door was open because the latch does not align correctly with the strike plate (so the latch would not go into the strike plate).  That allowed the door to appear locked but anyone could pull it open" vs. "The deadbolt was found in the extended position and used to prop open the door" . The difference is between crime (maybe a crime in progress, now), a maintenance ticket or a pattern of carelessness. The difference is competence. Just reporting "I found the door open" is not enough, it should be more specific! It is important to the security of the firm and the employees.

Sally gets a restraining order against Bob, her ex-boyfriend. She doesn't tell us about it until after Bob is in her office screaming at her.