Tower of Babel

One need not be a pedantic linguist or S.I. Hayakawa to be profoundly mystified as to how humans can interact so peacefully when they can't understand each other.

A classic middle management joke, said from manager to subordinate:
"Damn it! You did exactly what I asked!"

Ensure you understand what your boss wants as the outcome. In their wisdom they will tell you how to do something, or what to do, as managers are paid to do, but without thinking the situation through. Remember this when you give instructions! Be careful, just clarify "Sure thing Boss!, just so I understand, you want me to... so we can..." Be careful, if you "manage up", let them be sure it was their idea on how accomplish their objective.



Security radio use has it pitfalls. The most common problem with guard use is to treat a radio like a telephone. No need to be all 10 codes anymore either. Just think before you key the mic and make your message short and to the point. Include your call sign, who you are calling, your location and the situation. Key the mic for 1-2 seconds before you begin to talk so the beginning of the message is not lost. Remember that what  you say can be picked up by scanners, so no confidential information, please.


Learn to write incident reports that will withstand the test of time. If someone who doesn't know you, the company, the site or the incident reads your report in 5 years will they understand all the particulars? Do not wait for ALL the information you need until you submit the report, that can takes hours or days. It should be completed by the end of your shift. If you have to wait for further information, then submit an addendum when you get the missing information. In many cases a call to your supervisor, verbally summarizing the report is appropriate too.



Security guards are routinely hired without the ability to speak English sufficiently to do their job.

When hiring contract guards, where the contract insisted they be able to speak and write English, I had to institute a test for all guards being considered for our site. I would always get a nod and smile to anything I said to them. This I found out meant that they were nice people, want/intended to do a good job for us and get paid so they can support their family, most admirable!

 I asked them to tell me what they would do if approached by an employee or customer, while on patrol and this person said: "Oh my God, someone broke my car window in the parking lot and stole my stereo, all my CDs and my gym bag"

What I got sometimes was a silent nod and smile, or "I call supervisor" or "What is stereo?" As our firm was not prepared to teach ESL, I did not hire these guards.

 Note: For the "I call supervisor" answer I asked then what actions they would take until the supervisor arrived (like take a report, get the name of the victim, get the vehicle description, call the cops, see if any cameras in the area could have picked up the perpetrator,...anything!)  I got instead, with a big smile, again, "I call supervisor". I did not hire these guards...but your company did.
Insufficient English, despite the contract requirements......and further, did they do the required background investigation on this guard?

Pick wisely...your company depends on these people to look after things when employees are home in bed and when a critical emergency occurs.