Lobby Thoughts #10

Yes, asking you politely to follow the posted rules, is disrespecting you and deserving of my death.

Employees: Please say something derogatory about the guards in their hearing and get a laugh from your colleagues. Then walk by and glare at the guard, as if daring them to say something about your rude/childish/stereotypical/mean comment. We have thick professional skins but we remember and we will be sure to respond to your emergency request for assistance as fast as we can.

Employees: please panic on minor “emergencies”; give conflicting orders, tell as a fact what you guess is happening. Ie: All elevator alarms mean someone is stuck in elevator and OMG, you have do something immediately!

Yes, we have seen interracial/gay/gay interracial couples or triples and all combinations many times before…this is California dude, we are just modern guys.

Riiiiight! We have no idea that the tennis racket, staff, belt chain, golf club, “special” fanny pack, escrima baton, or cane you carry is actually a weapon. (We’re are however sure you have not really trained with it either.)

Yep; Never entered our minds that you might be here to consummate a drug deal; pass espionage comm. via meeting, dead drop or obscure chalk code, meet your lover, send harassing emails, research bombs or any other socially iffy action. Yep; no clue what-so-ever.

Enter door; look around; tick toc tick toc—oh a man at a desk; ticktoc, ticktoc; oh its has a sign on the desk; ticktoc; sign says “security”, tick toc, the guard is not saying anything, ticktoc ticktoc, ok I guess I do not need to stop.

Sorry, I don’t do stupid; except to avoid stupid..

The excuses you used with your Mom are less than convincing now that you are 30 y/o.

Sorry, your Bluetooth cell call is hard to differentiate from your 5150 self talk.

5/15/xx: Heard there was to be an “all staff” meeting at the end of June. Asked to be able to address the meeting for 5 minutes; I’m assured: no problemo.
6/27/xx asked if I could address the meeting to be held Friday. I’m told that ‘they forgot’ but would check. Sr. Dir has Mgr gets back saying agenda was too full to address security now.[ed. Or ever.] Mgr. says he will arrange a meeting w/ mops w/faces for me,ha haha. Remember you are nothing to the “elite” and nothing you could say could be in anyway useful. (The director is a woman who always gives a condescending smile to us little ones….we are in such awe!) You can be sure it was presented as “The guards wants to talk security at the meeting; haha.” “Well don’t piss them off; we need them to be snowed that we care about security (damn overhead when I only get $150k/yr.she thinks); Make something up.” “Guards don’t like being ignored?—no sweat-they are all frangible.” ‘Liability for security?—can’t sue city hall, haha.” Guard says: I love you guys. I’m glad you do not torture me too, for your entertainment!

Like the character in the asylum in movie One Flew One the Cuckoo’s Nest, who just silently smiled, pointed and "shot"  his index finger at everyone.

Sorry, you can’t leave your bags here. You will allege we should have prevented their theft or you will accuse us of having stolen something in them. Please take it with you.

IT sup. expecting an early arrival at front door tells the clerk who moves around the building to expect her but not the guard actually stationed at the door.

Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. – Mahatma Gandhi

“American guards are not just doing a job; they seem to be emotionally invested in it and swollen with an arrogant enjoyment of authority.” by unknown