Security Executives

It has been fascinating working for and with Security Executives. I was once once one too. I have met some interesting people.

Many are professionals and they are VERY GLAD they are not a guard!

One exec got fired for porn on his computer, the IT tech said he was logged onto porn sites for 4-8 hours a day in the privacy of his office. He had 80 gigs of porn on his hard drive.

Another one, writing my performance review, could find nothing to say except that my desk was not as clean as his and that I must emulate his housekeeping skills. BTW; there was not one word about security services or my job in said review. I "met expectations with some guidance necessary".

Another one took the fact that I saved the company $127k/yr by renegotiating a service provider contract, as an example of "borderline insubordination". I asked him to approve my action before implementation but he said. "I already handled it." He none the less told his bosses that HE had renegotiated the contract. He got a raise. I got "below expectations" in my review. No raise for me. I learned my lesson! Had he been shorted a kickback?--I don't know.

One boss told us he was going to "empower" us. He then delegated ALL his job to us, even executive committee presentations, critical investigations and the budget. The golf dates with his boss, he handled. I felt so empowered. His salary and bonuses were 2-3x ours.

I have had bosses (titled: Chief Security Executive) who were just the chief guard supervisor. Any bigger picture of corporate security was beyond them. I had to routinely fix one's computer because he could not stop clicking on the game and screen saver links on each web page. He fell for the "I Love You" email too.

I had a boss who traveled the globe for 2 weeks with his lover at the company's expense for "fact- finding" and benchmarking. He came back and had me write the lessons learned presentation based on his photos and my Internet research. I slipped in some changes I wanted to see at our firm; they were implemented! One takes one's victories where one can.

Bosses who were drunk all the time were great. They left me alone to do my job. Except for the occasional embarrassing meeting in their office where they told slured war stories.

I had a boss who was a kind, intelligent and sincere woman who knew all aspects of corporate security. What a rare pleasure. She got fired by another more senior woman executive for not "playing ball".

I had a gay boss who hit on me. I had a few racist bosses, who hated me based on my skin color. I had absent bosses who I never saw; I just ran the department. I worked for fools and geniuses, just like you have.

One boss accused me of throwing him under the bus. During an exec committee meeting I attended, another VP had an idea that would have caused deliveries throughout the site to be routinely delayed, by taking a longer route, simply because he didn't like to hear "truck noises" outside his window on the sixth floor. I made the serious error of explaining the losses that such rerouting would incur. I was not clued into the "truck noises" situation until later. He did not take this well. STFU. MYOB.

My first boss, a great guy, was sometimes slow. I asked for permission to take a university extension course on supervision on the company dime, on my time. He liked me and approved it. I gave him the certificate I received after 6 months of night school (great class!). He said. "Oh, I thought it was "Super Vision", that would help your eyesight." I said, Yes, it did help me see better.

I had bosses who blamed me for alienating their client, by making suggestions about repairing broken security equipment.' Liability smliability just work around useless equipment.' My bad.

Some of the worst corporate political hacks were the ex-cops. Insufferably arrogant, where all security was Law Enforcement lite. Theory X anyone?

HR and execs like hiring ex-cops (even if the cop was 20 years in Narcotics and Traffic) because "cops know security". No they don't. Without a badge to coerce cooperation, they are ineffective until re-educated. They do know investigations, and politics though and how to follow orders. So the CEO (or the CEO's wife) decides what is appropriate activity for the security department and can say "We own an ex-cop!

One boss routinely gave orders that would increase corporate liability and get HR seriously pissed off. We liked him, so we equally routinely modified such orders. 'Sorry boss, I must have misunderstood your orders.'

I have had to explain "Conversion",  harassment, invasion of privacy, malfeasance and why hidden cameras can not be placed in restrooms.

I had one boss who fired a guard supervisor because he found out the man participated in firearms competitions each  month on his own time. He said this was obviously indicative of someone who would go postal at work. We did not carry guns at this job. He also bad mouthed the man to other future employers as dangerous and threatening! HR no like! He was an ex-cop and we all know that only cops should have guns. -sarcasism-

I had bosses with no sense of humor. Any joke was insubordinate and showed that the teller was not serious about their job.

Did you know many guards are forced to join a guard union on penalty of not getting the job. Sweet scam for the guard union "execs". $65/month dues per guard. You work one day a month for the union. These folks call themselves Security Executives too!

Don't get me started on Homeland Security executives. I have not met one who was not equally ignorant and arrogant.

Me?, I'm no genius either but I try first to do no harm and avoid violating anyone's rights and 2nd, to earn my salary in a thoughtful, legal manner for the firm's benefit. Corporate Security is not rocket science, neither can it be ad-libbed. It is a Profession.