Lobby Thoughts #6

Contamination Vector Dispersal Area: Please cough, spit, sneeze, pee & poop in marked areas only.

"It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance."
Thomas Sowell

We only feel sorry for 5% of our patrons. You are not in that 5%.

Superiority Complex Zone: Guaranteed satisfaction. Self Effacement on demand!

Self and Other Hater’s Ball: Welcome

Please DO meet me after work; I don’t have to be so restrained then and can exercise my inner demons and issues.

Sure breast feed anywhere, your rights are paramount. But then make sure to complain because some guy looked at you while you fed your baby.

If it is important operating information; you better tell each guard—telling one guard will be received as their personal briefing and it will not be shared with anyone else—except perhaps their friends, off duty.

Not a Tea Room. Please make your assignations elsewhere.

Our RFID theft detection system is so slow that we cannot trust it. Union IT—what ya going to do?

Mumble Zone: Please try to Enunciate More Clearly

Public Building: Open to the Public: Yes, you can come in too!

Lost and Found: If we like it we’ll keep it, otherwise it rests in limbo until stolen or thrown out. (said by client staff manager)

Who is John Galt?

WWJBD?

Your Kid’s Screaming:  Testing Zone: 10 points for shattering that wine glass.

The RFID system going off does not require you show us the items you stole—rather we need to see the receipt to confirm the theft of a particular item.

Posing and Posturing Here; take a number

Fascist Pigs: 1  You: 0

Personal Rights Zone: Make them up as you go!

Yes, Ma’am, I heard you, but I do not know how to respond to your statement: “they are trying to kill all the kangaroos and local residents”

No, We do not want to be your special friend. Go away and Have A Nice Day!

You think the visitors are nuts, you ain’t seen the staff!

OCD? Please do not tap the guard’s desk, telephone or arm.

No, I do not want to shake your hand upon entry…we are not friends or doing business together.

Actually your life is not fascinating. Neither is you kid’s, brother’s, mother’s or friend’s. Please go away.

Safe Zone: Talk to Yourself Out loud here! (But not too loud and no announcements about how you are “Going To Kill Us All”, please)

The sign saying ‘Closing Early Today’ does indeed say and mean ‘Closing Early Today’; it is not my personal error or decision.

Cough on Guard Contest Here: Please observe the foot fault line.

Yes, “the clothes make the man”. Your clothes make you an idiot.

Sorry if I do not seem overjoyed to see you. The guy behind you is waving a stick and my facial expression reflects my concern for him, you & me.

Full Moon Today: please leave demons, imps and magical creatures outside.

Need Help?: Please wander around in circles until asked by staff if we can assist.

Yes! I’m just the way you think I am. You define me! Thanks!

Yes, our rug is evil! It intentionally tripped you. 500 people today managed not to trip on it but, hey, …you must sue!

I don’t care about your problems! Go away, please!


Don’t worry Ma’am, we will not molest your children. You however…

Please report all emergencies, today. Earlier if you’d like us to actually do something.

You are RIGHT—Life is not Fair! You have been singled out for difficulties above what you deserve! We are so so sorry!

Remind us yet again that age does not equal maturity

Yes, you are the most beautiful person we have ever seen! Move along, please.

You may be stupid but at least u r not a gard!

Yes you are the toughest hombre we have ever seen! I am so terrified! Move along please. Next...