Lobby Thoughts #5

Sorry, I don’t speak psycho.

We never share personal information about ourselves with you; we KNOW you will use it against us.

You once read a WSJ article on security guards…and now you feel you know more than any guard about security. Cool; do you feel the same way about, for example, paragliding, string theory or Buddhism?

We will respect you, until you show you do not deserve it…at which time we will still show you politeness.

Yes Ma’am: Your husband/son/boyfriend is far superior to me. After all they are a cop/engineer/bellboy/welfare recipient and I am nothing. Thanks!

Passive Aggressive Control Freaks: Apply for work here.
"We have simplistic solutions being proposed to immensely complex problems - which clearly do not really think through the extended 3rd and 4th order effects”.
http://thedonovan.com/archives/2008/08/the_logic_of_fa.html

We can all see that you hate yourself; please don’t take it out on us. Just kill yourself.  Elsewhere, please. I hate writing such reports.

In a regular job one has 2-3 people in their chain of command who can get them fired. In a public place job, each customer has the ability to get you fired. Best way to keep your job is to be subservient, be trusted and never never standing up for what is right—except in self-defense---then carefully..

When on the phone expect there to be literally 100% increase in questions. “Look at me, I matter!!!” OK, I'm here to serve. BTW; I was just talking to the 911 operator about a lost child...nothing as important as what you want.

The restroom is located: ______________________

We close at: _______________________________
Repeat 300 times a day.

Staff makes up and/or interprets the rules as they please and then insists guards enforce their personal rule or interpretation.

Please try to not get so wasted that you forget to pickup your kids at closing time.

Staff members: how exactly will you “back up” your fellow employee, who is outside berating a psycho patron who has already exited the building? Perhaps mention the problem to the guard standing 5 steps away?

Do you think you are their mom?

Yes, that big “Free Wi-Fi ” sign does mean here..

Invisible Guard: Look through us.

Clothes washed in urine are uncool.

No, I'm not a sadist; you'll have to find someone else to dress in a uniform and hit you.

When the blind person approaches the doors, please open the door in front of them not the one to their side. You might say something too when their cane passes into the open side but they are aligned with the closed side.

OMG, I am so afraid of you! Please do not glare so hard, it hurts!

Linear thinking is not the only way to think. But if you do A-B-C-D-E, do not wonder how F-G occurred.

“Women do not find it difficult nowadays to behave like men, but they often find it extremely difficult to behave like gentlemen.” Compton Mackenzie

Please try not to squish your kid in the automatic doors.

Responsibility Free Zone: It is not your fault, it is someone else’s.

Desk of Officer Krupke

“Have I now become your enemy by telling you the truth?” ~ Galatians 4:16

So she is embarrassed that a 5150 scared her. She is distraught. She waits 2 days to report it to security (she tells her friends first, Refuses to report it to police, blames guards for not being there during the 5 second interaction when she broke down and bawled like a baby, therefore… wait for it…she should sue the guards!