Management 101

MacGregor's Theory X Management is alive and well in the guard industry. Perhaps rightfully so. Forget Maslow's Theory Z, forget The Farther Reaches of Human Nature (http://www.amazon.com/Farther-Reaches-Human-Nature-Compass/dp/0140194703). You better tow the line buddy.

Drive By Awarding: A guard won Officer of the Month last November (of 1,500 possible winners) (comes with a plaque and a $50.00 check!). His supervisor drove on the guard's clients' site, honking his horn like a mad man. When the guard responded (with a smile, of course) the award was thrust into his hands with a brusk "Here, good job, gotta go" The supervisor drove off at a high rate of speed. The guard waves and says "Thanks!"  I'm feeling soooo motivated now!

Client manager explains why the guard is unarmed in this cash heavy environment: "If you have a gun, robbers will bring a gun. If you are unarmed they won't." WOW! I hadn't understood the dynamics.

District VP: "The reason there has been few problems here is that the locals won't misbehave because they do not want the facility to leave the area."  Yes, all 5150s and criminals are known for their selfless and rational altruistic cost benefit analysis.

If there is a routine security problem that causes much extra work for just the guards; it is judged not important enough for management to actually think about or act. After all it is “what we pay the guards to do”. But Sire we have a solution that will make you and your property safer, be cheap or free, involve no work for you or yours and will actually work well, just as it has for hundreds of other firms… ”Not worth me thinking about, go away lazy punk guard”.

We are required to have a positive attitude or we get fired. We are required to enforce petty rules, except we are not really expected to force the issue. The bosses will rarely back you up. We make just enough to stay alive and housed. We are thought inferior to even the stupidest of humanity. We are the new slaves…no racial component in this title; for you PC and racist readers. (if any one actually reads this!)


I do like playing to your assumption that I am an idiot. “Duh, I wouldn’t know 'bout that; my boss didn’t say nothing ‘bout that.” the Passive Aggressive defence option.

Master degreed boss: “Windows Explorer and Internet Explorer are the same, you dolt.” OK, what ever you say, boss.

Martinet boss (small man’s syndrome): "NO, you must do this per my interpretation and opinion"…later, when corrected by his boss, he sees himself as having been always right and the guard who questioned his illegal order is now in his mind a trouble-maker; but he can’t remember the details of why he feels that guard is a problem but he will thenceforth treat the guard poorly. In fact he will vaguely remember that the guard had done something wrong and is in fact an idiot.      Nice being management and always right, isn’t it?

Dude, don’t you get it? Your bosses do not care about security at all; nada, zilch. (Exception: entertainment value or if in the middle of a problem.)

How to be a wonderful security guard: Always smile (and mean it! Your eyes must smile too!), be nice & classically polite, relaxed and don’t question anything currently existing: remember your bosses are always right. This way you may remain; until the next budget cut. Do not bring up high level security problems; they will be taken as insults by your bosses.

 Boss: I may speak to you like an equal…but NEVER forget your place.


The petty ruling "elite" must routinely employ the “nuclear option” on their subordinates. Their rule is one of Machiavellian Total War. Find something the subordinate cares about (or seems to care about) and then attack them at that point….for trivial non-compliance with orders, for example. This is a deep-seated fear that they (the managers) are in fact Nothing and someone will see through the truth of their Nothingness. [ed: Really Dude: we are ALL Nothing or at best, bits of star dust] So for these poor souls, a pre-emptive strike is Always appropriate. They do not see that their bosses, who see this M.O., can then in turn, easily manipulate them into just following their orders without question. For the greatest fear is that they will lose their Job and therefore will lose their Identity. Subordinates questioning their orders or possibly/seemingly knowing something/anything more than they do is also such a world ending personal attack. Be not surprised by these managers lashing out at their subordinates.

Management texts recommend hiring people smarter than you. In reality, many managers perception of  their survival requires that they hire people less intelligent, dedicated and perceptive then they and easily cowed. Over a few organizational "generations" this leads to really stupid people being in charge.(however see also: HBR: Why Managers Don't Think Deeply and 'Power unleashes Changes in the Brain.

Co-employment: The client's manager  heard something about it. So the contract guard may now not answer any questions about the business, except the most stupidly obvious ones. However the boss then tells the guard where she can and can't sit, when and if to take breaks, what rules and laws to enforce, where to stand and the guard must ask each time they want to use the restroom. [Dude: some of us understand co-employment and Agency fairly well and are very careful not to incur potential liabilities to your firm.]

BTW: I used to be a manager until my naiveté to these realities became my downfall. I hate political BS. Perhaps this is one reason I use this blog as a catharsis. ;)

I'm just a dumb, cooperative and pleasant guard, boss!

In some environments one must live a Stealth Life and be a Stainless Steel Rat, living in the wainscoating of the business. (http://www.amazon.com/Stainless-Steel-Rat-Harry-Harrison/dp/1857984986/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1275331456&sr=8-1)

I do understand that if my current bosses' identify me from this blog, I will probably lose my job. Perhaps I am again being naive. :)